Welcome to pregnant and sick with me, Dr Rosie Gilderthorp. I’m a Clinical Psychologist and I’m also a mum of 3 who did not enjoy pregnancy. At all. In fact I was incredibly pregnant and sick both with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) and with the depression and anxiety that most often comes with it. I discovered the difference proper mental well-being support in pregnancy can make in my second pregnancy and I am on a mission to share what I learned so that no one has to feel alone in the dark days of pregnancy sickness like I did. So whether you are nauseas, throwing up or feeling the mental and emotional strain of pregnancy (or all three) please know you are not alone. Pop these exercises in your earbuds and take some time to look after yourself.
When we are pregnant and sick, either because we are feeling physically wretched or because the mental strain of pregnancy has got on top of us it can be really hard to relax. Even when we are lying on the sofa we often find ourselves battling with thoughts like: “why can’t I be like Amy, she glowed through pregnancy” or “I don’t want to do this, I can’t do this” or even “maybe I’m not meant to do this.”
All these thoughts have the power to create chaos in the body and turmoil in the mind while offering us no helpful information at all. In this post, I talk more about how and why that happens. For now all you need to know is that learning to shift our attention away from these thoughts and spending some time focusing on bringing warmth and acceptance to our body, even when it is hurting, is shown to help us deal with the challenges of sickness much better.
Today’s exercise, called a compassionate body scan, fosters a deeper connection between your mind and body, promoting self-awareness and self-acceptance. By mindfully observing bodily sensations without judgment, you cultivate a sense of kindness towards yourself, even when experiencing discomfort or pain. This approach helps reduce stress and anxiety, improves emotional regulation, and enhances overall well-being. It can also be beneficial when we are coping with pain or sickness, as it encourages a more accepting mindset which means our bodies will calm and stop reacting so strongly to our unhelpful thoughts.
Personally, for me this was a huge game changer. I discovered this practice when I trained in mindfulness during my second pregnancy and used it every night to get to sleep or anytime I thought the nausea was going to completely overwhelm me.
Transcript of the compassionate body scan exercise
Sit in a comfortable position, this can be upright in a chair with your feet on the floor, legs crossed on the floor or any other wakeful and alert but relaxed posture that works for you.
Keeping your eyes open, focus on a fixed point in the room and allow your gaze to be soft.
Take a deep breath in and down into the belly, briefly hold and release the breath slowly. Take a few slow breaths, just noticing how it feels. Some people find it helpful to breathe in for four, hold for four, breathe out for four and hold for four, this is called box breathing and can be a soothing rhythm. Let’s try that out together but no pressure to keep pace with me if its not right for you at the moment.
in 2,3,4
hold 2,3,4
out 2,3,4
hold 2,3,4
Now just allow your body to breathe normally. Notice that the body knows how to breathe, all by itself. Just observe the body breathing for a moment.
Take a moment to notice any sounds you can hear. Just let them flow in and out of your ears. Take note of any smells or other sensations. Just notice what is there.
Notice the weight of your body in the places it connects with the floor or chair. How does your body feel right now? Any tension? Is it relaxed? Are you feeling any other physical sensations? Hot or cold? Discomfort or comfort?
Take the time to check in with yourself emotionally, how are you feeling right now? Are any obvious emotions coming to the surface?
Just notice how you feel right now without trying to change it.
Now imagine there is a stream of sunlight coming through the ceiling, just above your head. As the sunlight makes contact with your body it focuses your attention on that body part, like a spotlight and fills it with warmth, relaxation and a sense of ease.
As you watch the stream of light you notice it is beginning to slowly fill your body. Just watch as it fills your toes, feet and ankles. Notice how they feel as they are bathed in the sunlight. Do they feel warm? Relaxed? Soft?
When your feet are completely full of light, the light continues up the body, filling your lower legs, knees, thighs with a sense of ease and comfort.
You will find that your mind wanders away from the light frequently. When this happens, simply notice it and re-focus without judgement or criticism.
Now you notice the light is filling your pelvis, bottom, lower back. Slowly filling your body from the ground up with warmth, light and comfort.
Now your abdomen, chest, upper back and shoulders are full of the warm sunlight.
You notice the light filling your arms, right the way down to the tips of your fingers.
Now the light fills your neck, right to the top of the head. You can feel the light on your facial muscles softening them, relaxing your whole body.
Once you feel completely full of the warm light, completely aware of your whole body with ease and comfort you notice that the light is shining from you into the room around you. It is as if every breath you take makes the light clearer and stronger.
Enjoy that feeling for a few breaths
Now let go of the image of the light and come back into your body. Concentrate on your breath for a few moments, noticing the sensations as you breathe in and out.
Now slowly bring your awareness back to the room around you, notice what is present in the room. What can you hear? Smell? Feel?
Now pay attention to your body, how does it feel? Any different from before?
Finally, to seal the practice, take one more deep breath in to the belly, hold briefly and release slowly.
Gently open your eyes.
How to access support of you need it
I really hope that has been helpful and that you feel just a little more space between you and those painful thoughts, feelings and body sensations. Every time you practice the effect will become deeper and stronger as your mind learns the skill of mindfulness. So come back here often to give yourself a moment of calm amongst the struggle.
As ever please remember you are not alone. If you need urgent support, mental or physical please speak to your GP and remember that if you feel sick you deserve support.
There are also great resources including peer support options and medication advice on the pregnancy sickness support website.
If you think you would benefit from specialist psychological therapy to help you through this then please take a look at my website and book in a free consultation.
Thank you for the music!
Mindfulness ex backing track music: Soothing Serenade by UNIVERSFIELD -- https://freesound.org/s/719269/ -- License: Attribution 4.0
Inrto music
After the flu by kjartan_abel -- https://freesound.org/s/611440/ -- License: Attribution 4.0
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