Are you doing the juggle/struggle?

It’s 2016, I’m a high-flying, overachieving female boss loving my life as a Clinical Psychologist in central London and planning an exciting career of NHS work, research and teaching. I should have no problem “having it all.” I’ve spent 28 years putting the hard work in, my husband has reached a rank he is proud of in the Royal Navy so now is the perfect time to start a family.

And then the world broke.

Sound familiar?

My first pregnancy in 2016 wasn’t exactly the glow fest I had been expecting as a running/yoga enthusiast and Clinical Psychologist. Where I expected to meditate and stretch my way through pregnancy I instead found myself spending most of my waking hours in nauseated communion with my toilet thanks to Hyperemesis Gravidarum and the rest of the time wallowing in a pit of depression. Not much bossing it there.

My family and I found our version of normal after HG. I even managed to have a couple more babies but there was something different about us that I couldn’t name at the time. My kids just “weren’t fine” in nursery. They showed me their psychological struggle through repeated illnesses and, for my son, a complete inability to sleep. Through necessity, I learned to listen and my entrepreneurial journey began as I (slightly too rapidly) built my perinatal psychology practice around their needs and the challenges of military life. It thrived despite the challenges of our life and I found I loved nurturing my business like a fourth child. By the time the pandemic threatened to break everything again, I’d built a community of other psychologists and therapists and was able to add podcasting, coaching and teaching about business to my working life. It sustained me and my family through those dark days.

Unfortunately for us, when restrictions lifted difficulties that had been cloaked by the pandemic became too obvious to ignore. After a long, exposing and at times cruel process both my older children were diagnosed with Autism and ADHD and we began to understand why they were so completely “not fine in school.” As the problems escalated so did our understanding and once again my working life had to ebb and flow around the changing needs of my children. While I feel absolutely blessed that I already had a reasonably flexible business model when the shit hit the fan I have struggled with grief for the career I thought I would have, the difference I thought I would make and the family life we expected. There have been times when I have felt the spark of creativity and passion for my work was frighteningly close to going out.

Keep your spark alive: What you can expect from this stack

This stack is for you if you have ever found your spark perilously close to going out in the face of the challenges of parenting. Whether you are a fellow mental health professional, SEN parent or someone whose mental health has taken a kicking during pregnancy, birth and parenthood. In this stack, I aim to write about all parts of my life to support you in all parts of yours.

When you land on my home page you will see different “sections” for business, pregnancy and parenting. You are totally welcome to just subscribe to the bits that are meaningful to you right now but I suspect there are a lot of us out there dealing with all three.

Subscribe to join me for a weekly coffee, from the comfort of your inbox.

Sign up and you’ll get the latest posts and podcasts straight to your inbox or, if you prefer, you can opt to just read them in the Substack app. The world of parenting and working through challenging circumstances can be a lonely one. I’m so glad we found each other.

Feeling lost in parenting? Work with me

If you are a parent struggling with your mental health or recovering from a traumatic birth my practice offers specialist therapy to help you thrive again. Book a free chat with us over at www.knowyourmindconsulting.com

If you are a mental health professional venturing into private practice, possibly because you NEED the flexibility we have everything you need from legal documentation, courses and coaching to create a fulfilling and profitable practice (whatever life throws at you) over at www.psychologybusinessschool.com

If you are a parent struggling to find your spark for your career or business due to the changing needs of your family, maybe due to SEND or caring responsibilities. You can book a free call here to discuss coaching to reignite your spark and help you reconnect with your professional values.